Lemmings. Picture lemmings. This is the general structure of any middle school for the most part, and certainly this applies to my classes. If one student understands and chooses to be the daily leader and vocalize that they understand, usually the rest follow suit. However, if one loud student chooses to say they do not understand, insanity erupts.
Me: Okay so if I give you 13 pennies, how many dimes will you give me back?
Student: 1 dime and 3 pennies
Me: Okay so you add a dime and have 3 pennies left over
Student: You don't have pennies left over.
Me: Hmmm, interesting you just told me if I give you 13 pennies what you, as the bank, would give in return is 1 dime and 3 pennies
Student: Right. I agree.
Me: So you get 1 dime and have 3 pennies left over.
Student: I don't get it. I'm confused.
Student 2: Oh my god, I don't get it.
Student 3: I'm confused.
Student 1: I'm lost, I don't get it.
Student 2: I don't get it. I don't get it. I DON'T GET IT!!!
Me: Stop, and think. How many dimes do I get if I give you 13 pennies.
Student 2: One dime and 3 pennies left over.
Me: Right, so what's confusing.
Student 2: I don't know I'm confused.
Me: What are you confused about.
Student 2: Nothing.
Money is probably the most concerning point of my job. What with the invention of debit card monopoly and the loss of a conceptual understanding of the value of a penny. Shit, the value of a dollar. The US may have dropped the ball in terms of our measurement system (what the fuck is this 5,280 ft in a mile bullshit? I like numbers and I often forget the conversions!!!), but in terms of money we align perfectly with a base ten system. In other words, ten pennies to a dime, ten dimes to a dollar, ten dollars to ten dollar bills, etc. The mere simplicity of this makes this teacher happy. However, when we were reviewing long-division one day something very scary happened. A student surprised me.
Background, when teaching/reviewing long division you can use money. So in the problem if you're left with a dime you can trade it for 10 pennies, like you would with the algorithm. Anyway, 4 out 5 students proceeded to say that instead of trading in the 1 dime for 10 pennies and then dividing five pennies into each pile (there were two piles), that you would just put 1/2 a dime into each. Yes, I get it, 1/2 a dime's value is 5 pennies, however the question asked how many physical dollars, dimes, and pennies there would be. Yikes. So here came the following discussion:
Me: 1/2 a dime? In each pile? Half of a physical dime? (imagine me holding up a dime)
Student 1: Yes, you split it in half and each pile gets 1/2.
Does that make sense? What's 1/2 a dime worth?
Student 2: It's worth 5 cents
Me: (Me pretending to cut the dime with scissors) So if I cut this in half and went into a store they'd accept it as 5 cents?
Student 3+1: I don't get it
Me: You told me half of a physical dime, if I cut this in half... like you told me to... what is it worth?
Student 2: 5 cents
Me: No! It's a piece of metal. If you cut in half that's all it is half a dime! It's worth nothing more than the scrap metal it now is!
Giggling from student in the back who obviously gets it
.... The conversation went on for far too long, but it made a wonderful memory for all of us....
At which point... my list of reactions and replies run out. I think about running out down the hall screaming. Frustration aside, it is quite an amusing set of events.
Student: I'm going to NY.
Me: Oh nice, where.
Student: I dunno, NYU.
Me: College? Are you leaving us Friday for college?!
Student: Nooooo.... I'm not in college, my sister...
Me: So you're a college student, you don't need math anymore?
Student: Noooooo...
Me: Okay so you can come back and teach our class after this weekend of college, right?
Student: TEACH?!!?!?
Me: Yeah, won't you?
Student: Nooooooooo... I wanna be a student.
(This is a first)
A wise man once told me, that humans invented the $5 calculator for a reason and god damnit is that truth. At what point does drilling students on math facts and the long-division process get trumped by the fact that you can write boobs on a calculator? Not surprisingly, a year ago I faced the same exact situation. It must be an important ritual in ever pubescent 6th grade boy's life... boobs and the mere fact that you can write this glorious word on a calculator.
Student 1: When I'm 18, my mom said I can go sky diving
Student 2: That's not possible. Like totally not even possible.
Student 1: It is so possible!
Student 2: Right... when you're 18 you have free rights and stuff.
Student 1: Yeah
Me: You mean... you'd be an adult
Student 2: Yeah free rights!!!
Student 1: I'm an adult. I'm 13.
Me: No...
Student 1: Yea... I just can't sky dive.
Me: Can you vote?
Student 1: No.
Me: Can you live on your own... legally?
Student 1: Maybe.
Me: No... No adulthood. Stop it....
Student 1: I can do what I want when I want
Me: Do you want to be in school right now?
Student 1: No...
Me: Then you obviously can't do what you want.
Student 1: (Starts walking out)
Me: Correction, you can do what you want, but you will have consequences
Student 1: Why can teachers be mean to students but students can't talk back?
Me: Age
Student 1: What?
Me: Anyone older than you can tell you what to do. It's a perk to being old. Hey (Student 2), when's your birthday?
Student 2: August
Me: And yours? (to student 1)
Student 1: October
Me: (Student 2) can tell you what to do.
Student 1: I'm an adult!!!
Me: No, you still are not an adult
