Between God, the wife, and the kids... we find class

Many of my days have been filled with ups and downs. Most of my classroom days are filled with the morning rush of unsettled children coming into class and whining about doing work. The pity party crew, I call it. By the afternoon, the stew has usually settled and the children's true identities of hard working wise-crackers comes out. My day, on the other hand, usually gets more hectic as time in the day goes on. I have learned much about this seemingly settled attitude at the end of the day.

In fact, if there is one thing I've learned about afternoon classes, it's that kids are just as restless as you are -- regardless of how settled they appear. They come to class drop their books and stare at you, "What do I do next?!"

After the 5th appeal to the court of children, they finally listen. Children are funny in that way. They look to teachers for advice and as soon as they start speaking, they tune out. Kind of makes you laugh when you think about it. Teachers: The role models to which we never listen. I'm okay with that.

Once I get the kids settled, while working, they usually mutter random comments about life. A class of all boys and I can't get them to stop gossiping -- who knew! These comments are filled with hilarity. They range from who stole the other's girlfriend to how they got dressed in the morning -- just what I wanted to hear. Amidst this conversation I find a dichotomy of engagement to the ramblings of young men arise.

In the unengaged realm, sits two boys. One, completely unaware of the conversation taking place right at his fingertips. Even if he wanted to be engaged, completely checked out. Lifting his head up every now and then when the noise got loud as if to say, "Huh? Who goes there?" An innocent child, really, blissfully unaware of his surroundings and the endless musings of his peers. Surprisingly the output of work as compared to his peers is not much different.

Child two, on the other hand, is the type I deem pathetically unengaged. Someone who tries to be engaged, but gets overwhelmed and checks out. He's the type that you most often find scrambling to throw in his two cents. The problem? His money isn't good in the conversation... it, how does I put this? It just doesn't have a damn thing to do with what's going on.

At the other end of the spectrum, we have three boys. First, is the boy I like to call, "NO THIS IS WHAT I THINK... OMG A SQUIRREL" (yes, he does say o-m-g, aka oh my god). The ADD apple of my eye. This is the student whom when I give directions will do precisely what I tell him not to do, down to the finest detail. Example:

Me: This calculator is important, it's a responsibility you are taking on. Use these calculators appropriately. Don't write inappropriate things on them. Use them only to check your work, do not.....
Kid: You can write on them?
Kid #2: Yea look! (shows calculator with 58008 on it)
Kid: That says boobs, ha.
Me: BOYS.
Kid #2: Haha, now it says LOL.

How can one honestly hate on that? Brilliant. I could not have planned for a better response.

Now, student number two is the student which is overly engaged. This student is in EVERYONE'S business. It doesn't matter what it is, this student is out of his chair trying to make his way over to see what others are doing when they start talking. Though redirection is taken very well, I often find this student being the one who takes his HW "standing up," usually with mouth and ears open. How can kids work that way? One way to look at it, is that this kid is going to be the most brilliant multi-tasker in the world. In fact, he thrives in the environment in which he must multi-task, else my lesson be boring.


The third student, is the one I call our witty response man. Though not talking all the time, when his mouth opens, he gives the most random, yet witty responses. So far off-topic, yet appealing to the rest of the crowd -- teacher included. he is our eccentric thinker. Example:

Kid: Time to go home to my wife and kids! See ya later!
Me: Excuse me, what?
Kid: It's a tough job, teach. But somebody's gotta do it.

and

Kid: You know, between you, me, and God... math is pretty cool.
Me: Do your math.
Kid: I'll tell Him you made math fun, you know... put in a good word.

Some days these kids make me smile. Some days I don't know how I don't just laugh my pants off, managing to keep a straight face.Oh what joy to be a teacher. Really. Try it.



Now, you might ask yourself does this crazy lady ever really teach? And if so, what in the world could possibly get done with the craziness that ensues daily? True be told, my days are not always the same, nor does the entire class get eaten up by gossip -- as much as you wish it were true. The true is, those kids thrive in the environment provided to them and are earning a respect and love for math which, trust me on this, they never held before. So, think of this as a bonus for me. I get the pleasures of laughing and making my job ten times more fun than it already is, and you reap the benefits via this site.