The day after Thanksgiving break (2-day update)

It's mildly entertaining how the day after Thanksgiving break teachers and students alike begin counting down until Christmas break. It's 18 days. Yeah, I'm counting. The feeling in the air that surrounds classrooms at this time of year is very unsatisfying. Students are tired. We're tired. The economy is tired. Let's not talk about the economy, as my kids would say, and just buy a house in the Bahamas with the wife and kids. I totally agree. Wait, my students have kids? But I digress.

The kids are weary and sleepy today. It's an eerie feeling they emit. They're sleepy drones With sleepiness, however, comes great humor. With great humor, comes good posting opportunities. Here we go:

Me: Please stop waving outside

Student: But there are kids outside I'm saying hi to

Me: You're much older and cooler than them, don't waste your time.

Student: I'm not cooler or older, my mom says I'm like five.

Me: You could be cooler.

Student: But I don't want to. I like being a loser.

Me: Come on, you're not a loser.

Student #2: No, seriously, he's a loser.

Student: I'm not a loser!!

Me: Boys!

Student: Teacher says I'm not a loser.

And who could forget how we all feel, "Seriously, I hate Mondays. back to the grind. I should get a jewel for every time that I show up to school on Mondays. Could you arrange that?"

No, I cannot. I wish I could, however.

I also have a bad habit on Mondays of getting kids off task. As ADD as they are, I'm ten times worse. Mostly due to the proverbial athletic hangover from the night before which results in lack of sleep. Basically, it's hard to get anything done of Fridays and Mondays due to lack of motivation from all parties involved, except the DOE who is also all up in my grill. Look, I got us off topic again!

Me: Sorry that was my fault got you off-topic.

Student: Yes, yes it was your fault. Bad teacher.

I'm a baaaaaad teacher.

My students ended today with my own lovely blog title, which made me smile. I told the students a problem was impossible and laughed evilly, per usual. My student turned to me without missing a beat and said, "Everything is impossible, until someone does it." At which point I was in the realm between, "yayyy my kids think like me" and, "Oh crap! They read my blog" Then I thought, my kids can't read. Just kidding they can read, just not large undecodeable words :)

Student: Girls are mean they stink.

Student 2: Shhh, the teacher is right there.

Student: She's not a girl... she's a WOMANNNN (imagine a 11 year old boy saying this with such bravado, emphasis, and of course... a manly manly voice.

Student 2: super woman?!!?

Student: Absolutely, super teacher woman, face.

Me: Face?

Student: SUPER SONIC HEARING! ABORT!!!! *Student flees the room*

Clearly, I scare children with my super badness. I should get a math cape with all sorts of cool math symbols on it and act cooler and smarter than I really am. Tomorrow comes more updates, as I'm now not only a math teacher but the coach of a less than talented girls' basketball team. I look forward to it.